Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

My Top 5 Breastfeeding Must Haves

Breastfeeding is the most BRUTAL-FUL thing. I mean, after you have grown a human for the better part of a year and get to experience the magic of childbirth the real fun comes. Breastfeeding is not for the weak minded, let me tell you. It is a minute by minute commitment that most mommies will struggle through.

I knew with the twins it was breast or bust. I never for one second entertained the thought of formula. I actually got pretty sassy with an LC in the hospital who dropped the F-bomb.

 I sought constant support from my local Lactation Specialists, I read and researched everything I could find and asked constant questions of friends. I pumped constantly to boost supply, dealt with nipples that felt like they were being seared off with a dull machete, boobs the size of watermelons ready to explode with each breath and never, ever questioned my body's ability to provide for my babies.


I tandem nursed the biggies for just over a year and was able to donate gallons upon gallons of stored milk. Dude was the same...accept I had a whole second boob to spare! I too nursed him for a bit over a year and was given the huge honor of being to share my milk with a close friend who too was dedicated to breastmilk. It was one of the greatest things I was able to do for someone I love.

It's easy to forget how challenging those first few weeks of nursing truly are. The  honey-like colostrum requiring constant massage, milk coming in hard and fast making you sick with discomfort, the boob boulders, sand granules, fearing plugged ducts, bloody and cracked nipples, latch issues, the CONSTANT questioning that all this is normal...I mean it is no easy feat.


Now that the hard truth is out of the way, here comes the good truth.

As with everything pregnancy/birth, all that pain/discomfort is temporary. That hard work, that dedication, will (in most cases), pay off. Once your milk stabilizes, nipples turn to leather and you/baby get into your groove, there is truly nothing more amazing than being able to provide your baby with the most natural, perfectly created just for him "meals by mommy".

There of course are many mommies who really struggle and give it their all before accepting that bitter defeat. While I am no professional, I think early stress from any sort of medical or other issue can really play a role in affecting milk supply. I know from supporting close friends that the heartbreak they feel from giving up on breastfeeding was devastating.

But above all else, any mommy who loves and feeds their baby in any form is doing a great job.

Phew, with all that out of the way, let this (overly) milky mommy share my favorite breastfeeding products/supports. I would be LOST without them!!

CLICK & BUY!
1. MILKIES MILK SAVER: Obvi, I couldn't use this with the twins as both of my boobs were occupied, but with Dude and after soaking through one too many T-shirts, I saw this and immediately bought it.  I used it nonstop with him and have already been catching milk like crazy with Richie. It is so easy to use; just stick your nipple in, secure with your bra/tank and let that boob drip fill up that silicon saver.  I usually get like 1-2 oz per feeding from just sitting there. No manual pumping required and always a dry shirt!! This is my favorite thing to use, especially in the first few weeks before I start pumping because I can build my stored supply without increasing my already over supply. Just be careful when you go to pick up baby... milk tsunamis are never fun.
CLICK & BUY!
2. MADELA MANUAL PUMP: Going from twins to a single is quite a different experience.I remember stressing about what on Earth I was supposed to do with that other boob when feeding just one baby. Did it just sit there? Could the baby drain one and then the other? Wouldn't one always be super full and hurting? I just didn't get it.

Thankfully, I am a quick study. This guy was a total blessing in disguise after having Dude. Being as I have too much milk and my boobs are on the verge of explosion constantly, I needed some extra relief after each feeding. I would catch on one side while nursing on the other, then after I swapped him to the other side I would pump out the rest of that golden goodness and then following him finishing on the other side, repeat. I LOVED the freedom of not being hooked up to the electrical pump while getting in more snuggles with Dude and doing little work for lots of supply. I have already used this a bit with Richie but only for comfort as I am not trying to kick up my supply any higher than it already is!

CLICK & BUY!

3. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, Book. This has often been referred to as "The Bible of Breastfeeding" and I have to say I agree. I bought this when pregnant with the twins and can honestly say I read it cover to cover during those nightly feeds where it was me, two suckling babes and the moonlight. I referenced it again with Dude and have done the same with Richie. It has everything you could ever wonder about all in one place that can be kept close at hand. We all know there are about a million questions and concerns that arise when breastfeeding, so to me, this book is a must!
CLICK & BUY!
4. Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter. Oh those sweet nipples. That phase between raw and leather is not an easy one. Thankfully Earth Mama has the most soothing nipple butter to ease some of that chappy, scabby process. I use it after each feed, before I use my manual pump and always before I shower. I love keeping those nips hydrated and calm...since it feels like fire torture at first with each latch. Aside from this being all natural and totally safe for mommy, another bonus is that it is safe for baby too! No more having to wipe off the lanolin from those tender feeding devices, baby can jump right on and you both can relax into a wonderful, snuggle filled feeding.

CLICK & BUY!
 
5. Earth Mama Organic Milkmaid Tea. Just because I am a milk machine doesn't mean I don't continue to support a healthy supply! As an oatmeal and tea lover, a daily dose of this amazing, organic tea does the job to keep me freely flowing. With all the right herbs straight from nature, this tea is a must have for any milky mommy's pantry.

While this is only my five most used items, there are many more things I just can't seem to live without. Nursing tanks to holster my melons during engorgement (any bralettte is just too restrictive for me), organic cotton/washable breast pads and of course my favorite breastfeeding app for the new (or always anal) mommy; Baby Connect.

And of course no breastfeeding post would be complete without sharing my two favorite sites to troll while feeding and wondering if you are doing this correctly...Kellymom.comcom for ALL the things breastfeeding. And my personal favorite timeline breakdown, The Alpha Parent - Timeline of a Breastfed Baby. 

As I enter my last breastfeeding experience with my last baby, I am soaking up every second of the good, bad, horrible and magical. I love me some breastmilk superpower and intend to live it up, pump it out and cherish this last wet n' wild ride.

Strive to thrive, 
Em

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

5 of my Favorite Hospital Essentials



It's time to get ready to welcome Richie!! We are two weeks out and thankfully we are packed and loaded. Game time here we come!

I am a proud over packer and feel no shame appearing as though I might be moving wherever I go. I HATE needing something, so I make sure to take everything. Even if I don't use it all, at least I have it...just in case.

The hospital is no different, I do not want to nee something that I hesitated to pack. I know this, I plan for this and I am always happy I overpacked because I rarely want for anything...aside from a cool glass of rosé. Just kidding. Kind of.

But in reality, aside from all the cozy clothes, all the fresh linens I bring from home and all the other millions of items I can't live without, these 5 essentials I would never forget!

PS, I did not include my best friend/barf bowl on this list, but please know she is by far NUMBER 1.


1. SWEET/SASSY ROBE. Those first pictures with that fresh baby can go one of two ways. You can look like a hot tired mess who just went through the marathon of birth. OR you can look like a hot tired mess who just went through the marathon of birth...but has a great robe on. I choose the second option. Since I birth in only a bralette (if that), what I put on for those first few pictures (aside from blending the sweat into my hair and applying some fresh chapstick) is muy importante. I always opt for something that is A. Comfortable and B. Photo worthy, which for me, usually means florals. It is like an instant "freshen" and photo ready move to make...way cuter than any gross hospital gown in my opinion.


CLICK & BUY!

2. SLIPPERS. Cooties are gross. Hospital cooties are the grossest. I keep my slippers right at next to that bed and slip them on and off for my bathroom trips. Clean feet = clean bed = happy mommy. I like my toes free and these floral cuties (with bow of course) are light weight, easy to fold/pack as needed and after a good wash can be re-worn once you get home.
CLICK & BUY! 

 3. 40 BLINKS EYE MASK. Now this is not just a hospital favorite for me, but a life favorite. However, in the case of my hospital trip, it is great to block out stimuli during labor AND great to wear after when you want to send those sweet nurses a hard message to please, kindly F off and let you sleep in peace and darkness. Lash friendly, great price and wonderful when you want to "black out" and relax.

CLICK & BUY!
 4. EARTH MAMA PERINEAL BALM. Birth does quite a little number on your lady parts, as it should. I mean a human AND self created organ are leaving your body, so obvi it's going to be a little swollen for a bit. Thankfully, that magic vag muscle goes back, but while you wait for that to happen, why not alleviate some of that discomfort. This balm (you can get the spray too...it is like a spa day for down unda) makes it allllll better while nature takes its healing course. 
CLICK & BUY!

5.  EARTH MAMA NIPPLE BUTTER. Those of us who have breastfed in the past know that those first few weeks can be absolute torture!! Turning those nipples into leather is no easy feat and I am thrilled to be using this nipple butter yet again to make the process not so absolutely, positively miserable. Best of all it is not only super safe for mommy but baby too! No more having to wipe off raw nipples coated in lanolin while the baby goes back for seconds, thirds and pretty much sucks around the clock. Earth Mama does it again as always!

While I could continue this list forever, I will spare you and let you watch the details unfold on InstaTV. Season 1, Episode 3 in the Birth-y series is ready to be watched my Thrivers! Enjoy!

Strive to thrive, 
Em

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

6 Ways to Prepare for a Thriving VBAC


I am very open and honest about my first birth experience and how it was NOT at all what I wanted, prepared or planned for. While I knew that "special circumstances" could arise (especially with twins) and had said the affirmation over and over, I still hoped I wouldn't have go through a C-section, but I did.

Thankfully, with Dude, I was dedicated to making all my birth dreams come true. Starting with of course, him coming out of my lady parts. And that is exactly what he did. He was my birth dream come true (in terms of goals. Trust, it was no walk on the beach...unless your version of the beach is a lot of vomit). I successfully had the unmedicated VBAC I had set out to achieve.


What is a VBAC you ask?

VBAC stands for Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. While I thought this was no big thang, I was in fact quite wrong. Maybe this was because whenever I talked about my next birth being totally different people "seemed" supportive. Maybe it was because I had laser-beam focus and was so committed to a natural, vaginal birth that I didn't realize that people weren't all that supportive. Whatever it was, it was not an easy task to find a doctor to take me on the first time around.

I had reached out to a number of local doctors and was denied by all of them, apparently having a VBAC was not an option in my "rural" community.


I was incredibly upset and thankfully had a locked and loaded birth guru in my corner 24/7, my doula and TW Nic. She hooked me up with some resources to check out (first on the list, ICAN, International Cesarean Awareness Network.) and I eventually found the doctor of my dreams, only a short drive away in San Diego. 


After successfully having Dude, I figured I would be like any other pregnant chick and no one would look at me twice when I said I was GOING to have my baby vaginally. Nooooot so much.

I again found myself fighting for the right to birth the baby inside MY body how I wanted. I gave a local doctor a good run in an effort to make it easier on myself and my boys (the appointments in San Diego can be tricky with so many kids not to mention my husband's panic about the hospital being nearly an hour away), but halfway through my pregnancy I realized that it was far more important to be supported unconditionally and went back with my AMAZING Dr. Cap.

So while I am ready for this guy to make his smooth, easy exit from my body in a few short weeks, I also know that not everyone is as lucky as I am when it comes to finding a match to support you and your wishes for birth.

With that said...

Here are my suggestions on how to best prepare for a VBAC - 
  • Educate Yourself. Apparently there are some safety concerns surrounding VBACs (this was news to me of course), like uterine rupture. Well, the research indicates that the possibility of that is less than 1%. A risk I am more than willing to take. However, not all women feel the same which is of course understandable. But, take the time to educate yourself with evidence based research and make sure you are confident moving forward in whatever path you choose for you and your baby. 
  • Take Classes. As a second time around mommy, I assumed I didn't need any classes besides a little HypnoBirthing refresher. Well, I was wrong. Not only did I freshen up on my Hypno skills but I also took an amazing class designed for VBAC moms. Not only was the class incredibly therapeutic as we connected and shared our stories, but it provided more information to boost my confidence levels even higher. I also took a Labor Comfort Measures class which allowed my TH and I to re-create what we saw for our next experience. The Birth Education Center of San Diego was an excellent resource and Care is an absolute dream!! Now that I am going in again, I didn't take the classes and more centered my mind around what was going to happen and refreshed some of my Hypno skills. 
  • Release. I still have some negative memories with the twins birth (back labor nightmare) that sometimes haunts me, but I have to let it go. I try and focus on all the positive things that happened during Dude's labor and imagine that it will be the same...but faster! And he was FAST!
  • Create A New Experience. I am now sending energy to my new experience. I see myself starting to feel surges and welcome them calmly. I let my family know it is time to go, kiss the boys and slowly walk to the car. We make an easy drive to the hospital, I get checked in, relax into my body and my baby...and two minutes later I am engaging in my favorite part of the whole experience...breathing him out and feeling him leave my body along with my purple leg syndrome...
  • Find Support. Every pregnancy is different and every mother requires a different level of support. Since I had found a doctor who I trusted completely I knew the only other birth support person I needed besides my TH was a doula. My doula, Nic. I cannot recommend a doula enough. Granted, I am lucky enough to have a doula wrapped in a bestie, but this service is truly one I wouldn't want to be without. Having someone there to help not only you, but also your partner is huge. Whatever support you feel you need, you should get. It is well worth the investment.
  • Get excited. Every birth is different and should be treated as such. For those of us who desperately want a VBAC (or a second one), this is the time to get super excited. I know I can do this, I've done it before. I know things may arise, but I am choosing to send energy to a smooth/easy birth...did I mention fast too?

Whether or not you want to be a repeat cesarean mommy, have a VBAC or pretend the baby will never come out and do nothing to prepare, just make sure the choice is yours. There is no wrong way to bring a baby from a loving womb into a loving mommy's arms. From my experience, I never want anyone to feel the self-doubt, despair and confusion I did before having Dude. I refused to accept someone telling me what was best for me and my baby.  Remember to trust your body, your instincts and follow your gut. We are strong, powerful Thriving Women who have been given the gift of co-creating, sustaining and delivering HUMAN LIFE. I mean, is there anything more freaking cool than that?! I think not. 

I look forward to sharing my birth story in the upcoming weeks as I welcome my last sweet baby boy. I am hoping to help other Thriving Mommies take another look at their birth choices and find the strength I momentarily lost...then got back ten fold when I made that VBAC my b*%@#.

*Here are some additional resources that I found helpful and empowering**


Strive to thrive, 
Em

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Letter to Juniper - A Home HypnoBirth Story


It's almost a new year and what better way to ring in 2017 than to share a beautiful story of a 2016 birth?!

 Nic had the great fortune of being reconnected with her little sister from Alpha Phi at San Francisco State when her midwife sent an email asking if she could help get another client's home birth reimbursed by insurance. She couldn't believe the coincidence and immediately arranged for a play date as they both had toddlers born in the same month. Of course the conversation quickly turned to birth, and Krystal decided to take Nic's HypnoBirthing class since her first birth had been a traumatic and medicalized hospital birth so she was hoping to learn some better coping skills. A friendship re-blossomed as Krystal's belly grew and the two met somewhat regularly for playdates and saw each other in class. 6 months after the birth of her little Juniper, Krystal wrote the most beautiful birth story so we couldn't dream of keeping it from you as it's just amazing! Read on to see for yourself, and grab some tissues while you are at it! 

 (All photos taken by Krystal & Nic's amazing midwife Lindsey Meehleis.)

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Mac's Birth Story


As I am sure we all know, I really wanted to experience an unmedicated, vaginal birth. Since I had the boys via C-section, I struggled to find a doctor that would support my dreams of a VBAC. After finding my medical match and preparing for this magical experience all I had to do was wait....and wait I did.

On Tuesday, October 11th, just one day before my 40 week mark I was feeling rather icky. Whether it was because I was SURE he would have come already, or had to go back to work for another day, all in all, I felt not in the mood.  I dragged myself to work, slapped on a happy face and decided on my prep to grab some Del Taco burritos loaded with hot sauce and take some laps around Target...I was determined to get this baby OUT asap.

When I got home that afternoon, I started to feel a little something. It wasn't much, but since it was seriously time, I paid a bit more attention. When I got home, I mentioned it to my mom and Thriving Husband (who was at work) and of course, my doula Nic. I went about my regular mommy duties (dinner making, cleaning floors, bath time, ect) that evening and noted that my surges kept getting stronger.

After I put the boys down at 7 PM I decided to finish up my nightly chores and get into the "birth zone".  At 8 PM I poured myself a little glass of red wine (oh what a glorious moment that was), drew a warm bath complete with essential oils and epsom salt, lit some candles, hit play on my affirmation playlist and got to relaxing. Then, it was time to get some rest. I had a big day ahead of me and needed to be well rested!


After a little cat napping (I won't lie, I was pretty excited) the surges started to get much stronger and closer together.  Around 10pm, my dreaded nausea kicked in. I had prepared to be throwing up through this entire labor as I did last time, so I grabbed my trusty vintage barf bowl and some ginger ale to sip on. I also started tracking my surges and sending them to Nic for guidance. So far they were about 9 minutes apart and lasting only 30 seconds. I decided to call my Thriving Mommy to come over and keep me company as I tried to stay hypno-focused between barf sessions.

At about midnight I lost my mucus plug and knew it was game on. I called my Thriving Husband and told him he should start heading home as his commute takes nearly an hour and I knew once he got home we had another 45 minutes to the hospital.

By the time he arrived I was having surges every 7 minutes lasting 45 seconds and they were getting stronger each time.  Because I had tested GBS positive this pregnancy, I knew I had to head into the hospital earlier than normal as I needed to get all the appropriate doses of antibiotics. With the windows down, affirmations blaring and my cycle of breathing, puking, breathing, puking we finally arrived at the hospital at about 3:15 AM on Wednesday, October 12th, my official 40 week due date.

We checked in, got situated and waited for the amazing Doula Nic to arrive. She made it to the hospital shortly after we did and we updated her on the latest developments. While my surges were consistent, I was only 2 cm dilated (booooooo). The nurse reviewed my "please leave me alone in darkness" birth plan and decided to wait until my doctor came in for rounds at 7am before checking me again. Nic helped me stay as comfortable as possible trying new positions and supporting me through each surge as my delirious Thriving Husband stayed at my side and did whatever he could to keep me feeling good. Which sadly was making sure my barf bowl was empty and I kept drinking liquids so I had something to puke up. Gross.

I was given IV fluids and some Zofran in an effort to keep the nausea down so I could concentrate. Sadly, it didn't work. The writhing, gut wrenching stomach pain was showing no signs of stopping (as to be expected), I just hoped it stayed coming out this way and not the other...if you get what I mean.

At around 5:30 AM the back labor kicked in. This was one of the moments I was dreading most. As I had experienced HORRIBLE back labor with the twins I was terrified of having it happen again. I had done so much to keep this from haunting me again (swimming, always sitting upright and never reclining, visualization), but alas, here we were again. Nic wore her hands to utter exhaustion massaging my back as I tried to not focus on the discomfort. It just kept getting worse and worse.


Just when I thought the back labor wasn't enough...I had the urge to push. It was only 6:30AM but I was watching that clock (we didn't really set up for my hypnobirth as I wasn't admitted yet and was going to move rooms before delivery) waiting for 7AM when my doctor came to check and I could threaten his life if he didn't make this stop. Yes, those were my exact thoughts, I was going to cut someone if I didn't get some drugs...

I pushed and pushed and pushed. Everyone told me to stop, breathe through my surges. I immediately transported back to the twins birth when all I did was push (way too early) and my cervix became incredibly swollen and I was forced to face a C-section. I was terrified history was going to repeat itself. Nic did her best to keep me motivated and remind me of my goal, but I openly told her to screw herself, that I was a failure and didn't care about anything I had said, I wanted the baby OUT or I wanted drugs...NNOOOWW!  Instead, I laid on my side, pushed and well....pooped...lots.

Shortly after 7am, the nurses were changing and heard my pushing. They were not happy. "Oh honey, are you pushing? Don't do that. I better check you now"... My response..."Umm, I can't really stop, so I am going to keep doing what feels right to me"...Her response..."Oh My God, you are at 9cm, how long has she been bleeding like this?! CALL THE DOCTOR!!!!!!"...My response, "Say what?! Thank F, let's do this"...Nic's response..."You did it!! You are there!! I knew you could do it!"...My response, "I hate everyone, hope you all die, I am pushing this baby out now and that is the end of that". Despite all I had practiced I had convinced myself that when the doctor showed up he was going to sigh and tell me I was only at like 4 cm and was doomed like I was last time. Trust, when I heard it was showtime I nearly fell out of that bed I had been clawing at for the past hour...Guess I won't be moving rooms after all...

She rolled me over to help my cervix efface that last centimeter and felt his little head right where it needed to be. As mass chaos ensued all around me (Had someone paged the doctor? Get the doctor on call! Bring in a table! She is having this baby now! She hasn't been admitted? Oh LORD!) the moment I had been waiting for was finally here. My surges had literally been on top of each other, and I should have known it was close. My stupid monitors kept falling off and since no one was fixing them no one knew just how serious this situation was getting.

That last centimeter melted away and it was on. My beloved doctor came in and was as calm and cool as ever. He was just the kind of energy I needed. I continued to lay on my side, grabbed my hamstrings, took in a deep breath and channeled all my strength down.


As the ring of fire took hold (all I could think of was Jonny Cash), I was filled with such energy and motivation. Sure I hadn't slept, hadn't eaten and had removed everything in my body for the past week but I suddenly was my usual beast and was so fired up I could have jumped from that table. Three surges/monster pushes later his little head was out. YES! Man, I could do this all day, the pushing felt like heaven. Him emerging into the world felt like I was touched by an angel. This was just the workout I had been waiting for and thank G it was here! A few more and out came his shoulders then blluuppprrrppp the rest of him just sort of fell out. At 8:30AM, a mere 5 hours after we arrived at the hospital, my little poop covered man made his way to my chest and all I could think and feel was utter pride. We did it.


When I was in transition and at my lowest of low (hence the thoughts of cutting the next person who didn't give me drugs even though I didn't want them at all) I should have trusted my body and where I was in my labor journey. I guess hindsight is always 20/20. At the end of the day, no matter what happened along the way, I got my perfect, healthy little boy with no medication and through my vagina. Take that all you VBAC nay-sayers!


I am so thankful to my TH and Doula Nic for being there for us every step of the way. While this birth was a blink of an eye compared to my first, it was still a long night for Mac's birth team. I can't say enough about Nic and her ability to be everything I need when I am birthing my baby and beyond. I am one lukcy Thriving Wife to have her.

Big brother Peanut sharing his love of trucks and cars with his new baby
As we settle into our new family life of #3under3 I continue to be filled with deep and complete happiness. While I didn't (and still don't) get what the big deal is surrounding a VBAC, apparently I am quite a unicorn (which I love PS). Every nurse, lactation consultant and person who hears of my experience usually picks their jaw up off the floor and throws up their hand for a high five...interesting and exciting all at the same time.


Not sure about that fourth baby as of now....but only time will tell!

Strive to thrive, 
Em

Friday, April 24, 2015

5 Things Every Thriving Pregnant Mama Should Read


It's really amazing how much we don't know we don't know.

This couldn't be more true for me than the art of giving birth. I actually thought I was waaaaayyy ahead of the curve when I gave birth to BK, but knowing what I know NOW, I'm a little surprised I had the positive experience I did. Unfortunately, not all mamas are that lucky and it upsets me greatly. As a birth educator, doula, and all-around birth rights activist, it is my hope/desire that every woman look forward to birth and regard it as positive - regardless of their individual choices and how challenging the birth may be. I don't care if you want an epidural, decide a c-section is best, or want a natural birth at home. As long as you are provided all the necessary information to make an informed decision, that's all that matters - the problem is, our care providers aren't giving this to us so we must seek it out ourselves.

I find that many first time moms are hesitant to think about their births too early in their pregnancies, but I fear when they finally get around to it they haven't prepared enough and this can result in a disempowering experience. Unfortunately giving birth in the US in 2015 has become somewhat of a battle, that many women don't know they are waging under they are already in labor. All I want is for women to be educated and prepared for that fight.

Below are the top 5 articles/resources I think every newly pregnant woman should read in order to have a more positive and empowering birthing experience:


  1. Friedman’s Curve and Failure to Progress: A Leading Cause of Unplanned C-sections
  2. Frequently Asked Questions… that Other People have Already Answered!
  3. Induction, C-Section, & VBAC Facts
  4. You’re Not Allowed to Not Allow Me
  5. Evidence on Inducing Labor for going past your Due Date

Love this handy Facebook "button" from Evidence Based Birth!


As a bonus, below is a handy chart showing the disparity between standard maternal care in the US versus what the current scientific evidence shows is best. 

Please share these resources with anyone you know who is trying to conceive or already pregnant! Even if it's a second pregnancy, there is always more to learn. I of course have MANY more wonderful resources than this, so if you'd like to see more just let me know and I'll be happy to do a follow up post!

Friday, August 29, 2014

A Labor of Love: Meet Clarke & J.R.

Thank you TH for the best coming home present ever...my STORKS!!
It all started on Tuesday, August 12th at 6:30pm. I thought I may have had a little accident, but as I stood up to use the ladies room, I realized this clear fluid accident of sorts was still coming and I was completely unable to control it...it was game time. As I squealed at my TH with delight, we took the necessary steps to ensure that I was in fact going into labor. Once we felt pretty confident, it was time to go through our checklists and prepare to head to the hospital. My doctor and I had agreed that I could have four to six hours at home after my membranes released before I had to head in, so I knew I had some time. My TH and I decided we would head in around 10:30 PM at the earliest. With only a few hours before we left the house, I did what any TW would do...a quick tidy/clean up of the house, showered, shaved my legs, touched up my hair and tried to finish a blog post. Once the surges started kicking up a bit my TH softly suggested that maybe I shut down the laptop and start relaxing.  Fiiiiinnnnneee, fine! We made some calls (my TM, MIL and of course, Doula Nic) and I went slowly to my bedroom, laid down as my TH lit some candles, turned on my HypnoBirthing relaxation scripts and I started to get in the zone.  I was two days shy of 39 weeks, not too bad considering I had two babies in there!


Before I knew it, I started to feel sick. I mean really sick. I yelled to my TM to grab me a bowl, I was going to vomit.  And vomit I did....(sorry, gross I know). With my nausea not going anywhere soon, I started to get pretty anxious about the car ride to the hospital. It was nearing 10:30 and the thought of even being in a moving vehicle made me feel that much sicker. I told the troops it was time to get this party really started. They loaded the passenger seat with towels, made sure we had all our bags and I held tight to my trusty bowl. We made it to Newport Beach in no time and soon my TH was wheeling me up to the floor where the magic would happen. I continued to focus on my breath and visualize myself feeling better.

As soon as I was checked in and it was confirmed I was going into labor, Doula Nic bustled around making sure the room was Hypno ready. A beautiful picture of a rose opening (supposed to represent my cervix) was placed over the clock so that my labor wouldn't be set to a time. I was just to go into my body and let it and my baby boys do what they knew how to do...be born. With my surges coming on strong, I had the insane and overwhelming urge to push. Is it really time already?! No, that couldn't be it. But what was it?  I looked at Doula Nic with tears in my eyes and asked her what to do.  My body was telling me to push (and scream) through the surges and wasn't that what I was supposed to do?  It was the only thing that felt right. She redirected me to my breath, holding my eye contact the entire time and setting the pace for my breathing. Some of my most vivid memories of labor are looking into her eyes as we breathed as one through each surge.

Nearly 39 weeks pregnant belly!
Over the course of 12 hours I went from the bathroom, to a "polar bear" position in bed (think modified child's pose for super pregnant people) to finally being able to lie down in bed and use my body and breath to imagine that each surge was a wave crashing on the shore and trying to keep as relaxed as possible. When my doctor came in at 7:30am the next morning to check on me I knew she was going to tell me I had made incredible progress and we were ready to go. However, to my surprise I had only gone from 4 to 5 cm in 13 hours and I had a swollen cervix to boot. SAY WHAT?!  My wonderful doctor, took time to share in my disappointment and express how she fully supported my choices and my birth plan, but since my uterus had been working hard for so many hours, she was fearful that it would over work itself (like all muscles) and quit.  It was time to explore options I had NEVER thought I would have to consider; drugs and medical intervention. But after getting out a good cry, talking it through with my TH and Nic it was time to consider those "special circumstances" that HypnoBirthing prepares you for.  Before any decisions had to be made, my doctor gave me the ok to try natural methods to get things sped along. She said I had two hours to make things happen.  We used every second and were hopeful and positive, but sadly, they too didn't work.  More discussion and then I calmly said, "I am prepared to calmly meet whatever turn my birthing may take", textbook HypnoBirthing statement.



Alas, the time had come; to fully accept medical intervention. If I wanted to stay on the path of avoiding a C-section, then it was either an epidural (to let my body rest and hopefully the break would allow things to move forward) or drugs (to speed up the surges and get my body back on track). After a lot of discussion and even more tears, I decided to go with the epidural.  I had worked hard to stay relaxed for 16 hours, but I was fearful if my surges sped up anymore I wouldn't be able to stay ahead of them as I was barely staying ahead of the urge to push as it was. Once the anesthesiologist came in at 10am and gave me the epidural, I felt nothing.  I laid down, asked my Thriving Mommy to help me brush my teeth from bed and was instructed to try and get some sleep.  I did my best to relax and just wait/pray that the birth plan I had worked so hard to create and practice would finally be mine again.

The epidural that was supposed to allow my body to rest and my surges to come back naturally wasn't doing as we had hoped. It was time to introduce more medication to hopefully get my body surging again. Little by little they slowly increased the dosage in hopes my uterus would kick into gear. It didn't. Next step? Take me off the meds for 30 minutes to let my body rest then we would try again. No matter how much I put it out in the Universe that it would happen and saw my body responding to the interventions, my mommy parts were kaput. My poor uterus had been working for 24 hours straight and had no more to give. Despite my boys being strong and stable, my doctor's concerns quickly shifted from their health to mine. There was no more time to waste, there were no other options to consider. I was now getting into the territory of risking infection as well as hemorrhaging; it was time to face the most special circumstance of them all...a cesarean.

I was terrified. I was incredibly upset and felt that I had somehow been robbed of something I not only wanted more than anything, but also something I had also prepared for for MONTHS. After my third breakdown of the day, I was again reminded that part of my training was to accept special circumstances and be confident in the choices I made. So, that is exactly what I did. I accepted that I had done all I could do for myself and my boys. After 26 hours of labor, I was wheeled in where I again allowed myself to fall into a deep level of relaxation and peace. Within minutes I heard my two boys crying and full of life. I too started to cry as I was overcome with joy, relief and utter exhaustion. As they were laid on my chest and I felt their little heart beats against mine, the past 26 hours were erased and every second that had passed was all worth it.


Despite my labor not going as I had planned, I am so thankful for all I experienced. I now feel I have experienced the many stages of labor and learned so much along the way. After the boys were born we learned that my Clarke (twin A) had his cord wrapped around his neck twice, so I know now that I wasn't progressing in labor because my body was keeping him safe.  Had I gone through a natural birth as I had hoped, he would have been in distress and the outcome of a cesarean may have been the same.  No matter what happened, it all ended in the best outcome possible; a healthy mommy and two healthy babies.

JR is on the left, he is our "Old Man Winter" and Clarke is on the right, he is our "Baby Dragon"
Wednesday, August 13th at 8:06pm and 8:07pm brought two angels from my belly to my arms.  Clarke Salvador was 6 pounds, 13 ounces and 19 inches. While J.R. (Joseph Richard) came in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces and 18.5 inches. I spent a magical two hours with their soft skin pressed against my chest as we practiced nursing. We left the hospital three days later happy, healthy and complete.

I would like to give a huge, massive, enormous thank you to my doula, partner, friend and most thriving of wives, Nic. You not only took time to prepare me for this day months prior, but you kept me motivated and strong every step of the way. I will never truly be able to thank you or show you how grateful I am for all you did for myself and my family.  We are so lucky to have you and you are incredibly talented.  Your future clients are so lucky to have you by their side throughout their birth experience just as I was.  From the bottom of my heart and uterus, thank you!

I would also like to thank my amazing TH for all his support and love as well as my Thriving Mommy for making sure I was always well taken care of and never scared for one second.  I love you both so much and am so thankful to have had you by my side.


Nothing has brought me more joy than my two baby boys.  They are easily the greatest loves and the greatest accomplishment of my life.  I am the luckiest mommy in the world!