Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Navigating Mommy-hood - 6 Month Update

It is hard to believe that my two little nuggets are six months old; it is horribly frightening how fast time goes. Everyone always tells you to enjoy it, that it flies by, but now that I am looking back and find myself saying it to others, it almost brings me to tears. It is high time for a little update on my two "half-year" olds and how I am navigating through my long awaited role as a mommy.

Motherhood has affected me in ways that I had actually anticipated and waited for for many years.  I knew I would love my babies more than I could have ever expected and that is definitely true. I would do any and everything for those two and my mission in life is to make them happy (well, and polite, kind, productive humans of course). I knew that I was made to be a mommy and still think that is my true calling.  I was put on this Earth to have those babies and every moment with them is the best moment of my life.  Waking up in the middle of the night to nurse them only brings joy to my life as it is our special time together. Rocking and snuggling their "fussies" and tears away only makes me feel more complete than ever before.  I was born for this and only this.

While I love being a mommy more than anything, I have allowed some of my "Em" to slip away.  I feel the first year of a child's life is incredibly important and therefore am willing to put my life on hold to give those babies all that they need...which includes my breast milk "on tap" as it were.  I wish more than anything that I could stay home with them each day and breastfeed on demand, interact with them every second and never be away from them, but that is just not possible right now. Momma has got to work. Mommy also has to find healthy ways to cope with the guilt that comes with being a working mom. Lucky for me, I just look at their faces and know that all I do is for them, so I refocus on the positive and move forward. Moreover, I am blessed to have the best childcare in my own Thriving Mommy and Thriving Husband...all for the low price of totally free.  So, while I do sometimes feel down for having to go to work, I always find gratitude for just how lucky I am to only be away for 6 hours and know my babies are well taken care of.

My favorite time of day...wiggles & giggles!
Aside from putting myself on hold, I still recognize that there are some things that I need in order to be the best mommy possible.  I am still coping with the harsh fact that despite my best efforts I may not be able to do it all...just yet. I had to cut back my fitness instructing to only weekends as I couldn't bear to leave the boys again in the evenings after being at work all day. My hour long sweat sessions now revolve around hour long speed walks with my stroller and nightly weight lifting sessions after they are down for the night. Keeping my house immaculate has started to get a bit more lax as I have had to accept the babies need stuff in the house too.  I do make sure to purchase only items that can be folded down and stored when company comes over.  I just can't bear the thought of baby stuff all over the house, no matter what Nic says!

Being Emilia has taken a backseat to being Mommy and I am ok with that for now. I know what I absolutely cannot lose (working out, manicures, waxing) and thankfully my "support team" recognizes that without those few moments alone, I may go nuts, so they are happy to accommodate. I treasure running errands alone and combing through the isles at Target with my iced coffee, I mean it is practically like getting a full body massage. While I wish I could spend more time with friends, I am comfortable putting my children first for now, but know that I will be back in the game once they are a bit older. It makes the slight feeling of losing my independence so much easier when I remind myself that the babies will only be babies for so long, so I need to soak it up!

My home life has changed drastically in that EVERYTHING revolves around the two little men in the house.  The big man (aka, TH) has also fallen in line and realizes there are two new bosses in town.  What they want, they pretty much get...and that means A LOT of play time with Daddy. Thankfully, just as I was made for mommyhood, my TH was born to be a Daddy. I mean it nearly brings me to tears to watch him have "boy time" in which he transports the boys into a special world where only they are allowed to be. I knew he was going to be a great father, but I didn't know he was going to be THE BEST.

The babies are adjusting wonderfully to life.  They eat like rockstars and even had their first "real food" just last weekend.  Avocado, breast milk soup...yummy! They are active, giggly, squeal-y and love to be out and about with their Maj (my Thriving Mommy/Full Service Assistant) and mommy (most often being worn in their carriers of course). They go down for the night between 6-6:30pm, sleep until midnight or 1am, wake up for a quick bite to eat and snuggle with mommy in bed (they are big enough now I no longer use my Breast Friend, but rather lean back on my pillows and fall back asleep while they eat). After their snack, they are back to their cribs for another 6 hour sleep session until it is time to eat (yet) again before mommy goes to work.  While it would be nice to sleep through the whole night, I am perfectly comfortable with our current arrangement and know that their patterns will change with age.  It wasn't so long ago we were co-sleeping and then, just one night, I set them in their cribs while I showered and low and behold, they passed out.  I could't believe it.  A month later, they had to go in their own cribs because the nightly games of footsie and punching each other in the face wasn't working anymore.  Now, they are rolling all over, scooting and nearly sitting on their own.  It is officially time to prepare our living room to be ready for crawling boys...oh my!

Navigating mommy-hood is something that I have been waiting for my whole life, but at times, it takes some getting used to.  For all the things you leave behind (sleeping in on weekends, champagne brunches that last all day, hours at the gym) what you get in return (baby snuggles, another person(s) who lives only for you, sweet soft baby kisses) it is more than well worth it.  Now I look forward to the next six months when it is about to get REAL: crawling, eating solids, teeth, talking, walking...ahhhh!

You mothers out there, how have you navigated mommy-hood? Those of you planning to be a mommy soon, how do you think you will handle all that comes with being a parent? Any wisdom you can pass down to this new mommy?

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