Thursday, March 23, 2017

Mommy Advice - When is it too much?

I loved being pregnant. Really, it was best thing that ever happened to me.  Granted, there was some discomfort along the way, but despite it all, each day was still the best day.

I remember relishing in the chance to finally chat about my body changing and having people talk to me about my belly and share their tales of motherhood.  But, sometimes, when I was listening to a monologue about their horrible pregnancy, awful birth, what didn't work for them and all their woes, I start to feel rather awk-dawg. 

I mean, why would anyone want to share their negative stories with a pregnant mom?  Especially when I was pregnant the first time. I didn't know anyone who ever walked away from that convo feeling great.

I remember when I was pregnant with the twins, I was practically crawling through the airport experiencing a great deal of back pain. Despite wanting to curl up on the ground and cry, I had to power through it. When the security attendant asked if I was ok, I smiled and said I was just carrying twins and they were making me a bit uncomfortable at the moment.  With a large exhale, she too said that she had twins.  I quickly perked up and asked her how pregnancy was, hoping she would offer some support.  However, she exhaled again and said, "It was awful".  The hope and joy I had momentarily felt left my body and I started to tear up.  Thankfully, I was traveling with the Queen of all Momma Bears, Mrs C and she jumped to my defense saying, "Couldn't you have lied to her?!...geez!!!".  That made me think, couldn't she have fibbed, just for a second, to give me a bit of hope/strength?

As I chat with preggo friends and strangers alike,  I make sure to only highlight all the joys of pregnancy and motherhood. There is plenty to worry allllll on our own.

As mothers (old and new alike), maybe we should all take that extra second to stop and think before we offer advice. What if we all offered only positive support/advise that we did when we were brides.  I don't think I have told ever told any of my engaged friends all the horror stories of my wedding, because when looking back, everything that seemed so "horrific" turned out to be nothing at all.

The main advice I offer to my soon be MRS. girls, is to slow down, enjoy every second of wedding planning because it is over before you know it.  All the tears you cry now and the stress that arises over invitations, flowers and guest lists is HIGHLY laughable after the fact.  The only thing that you will remember is the absolutely magical day you experience.  Isn't motherhood the same?  All the pregnancy woes and birth stories end in a perfect lump of human flesh that you and the person you love created together?

So next time you are chatting with a new (or even old mom) see if you too can channel only the good stuff. The beauty of your pregnancy, the unicorn-ness of your birth, the superhero status of being a mommy....just think how uplifting that might be.

Who will you comfort today?

Strive to thrive, 

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