Friday, December 20, 2013

Love Language of a Thriving Husband: Quality Time

Now that you've read about two of the five love languages, Physical Touch and Acts of Service, let's move on to #3, which happens to be my TH's love language: Quality Time.

From www.5lovelanguages.comThis language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Knowing my TH, I think it's the quality activities that make this his primary love language. He is always hounding me to do stuff with him, and often complains that events weren't as fun because I wasn't there. To this day I'm surprised by this because he is usually off doing something he really loves, that I'm not very interested in, like a baseball game. TH isn't a huge talker (we leave that to me, which is no surprise) so I know that it's the doing part of quality time that really shows love. I think, too, he really feels loved when I spend time doing something with him that I'm not into - like those baseball games. He enjoys our time together, but also he knows I'm making a little sacrifice to make him happy, and that's how he really knows I love him.
Here are some suggestions for spending quality time with your spouse, if this happens to be their love language:
  1. Don't wait for them to invite you to one of their favorite activities - plan a night or day doing whatever it is they love most!
  2. Turn off the electronics during meal time. My TH and I have a bad habit of this, but it's something I try to make sure happens as little as possible. Don't just eat in silence either, ask questions about their day or some other interest of theirs (even if you could really care less). If you are feeling silly, this is a fun list of questions to ask too.
  3. Try to have a date night every week or every other week. Yes it's one of the most cliche things married people are told to do, but it's important for a reason. Try to only have the date night be a movie every once in a while - the goal is to talk to each other! Thinking outside the box is key as well, even if the activity ends up not being any fun you can at least laugh it off together.
  4. Invite your spouse to do an activity that you enjoy, even if you think they wouldn't be interested. You never know, maybe they just needed an invitation! If it's something you truly love, your spouse will probably enjoy just doing something that makes you happy.
  5. Send loving texts and emails throughout the work day. This could maybe fall under "words of affirmation" too, but I think it's great for quality time because we can't always be physically together. I know every time I get a random text from TH that just says "I love you" or "I'm thinking about you" it just brightens up my whole day! Sometimes I give a loving shout out on Facebook too!
The holidays are a perfect time to put these ideas in action! How do you spend quality time with your loved ones? What is the biggest challenge of this love language in your opinion?

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