Thursday, September 26, 2013

Love Language of a Thriving Wife: Physical Touch

When Em introduced me to the 5 Love Languages book, I was immediately intrigued. As I continued to read I realized this concept made complete sense and applied to everyone I loved in my life, not just my TH. After reading the book cover to cover, and taking the quiz, it was obvious that my primary Love Language is Physical Touch.

Author Gary Chapman describes this language as such: "To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch." Of course I appreciate the other languages when they are spoken to me, but nothing makes me feel more loved than a random public display of affection, or a long cozy snuggle session. I have always been a cuddler, thanks to my snuggly Thriving Mama, and I just can't help myself but to want to be physically close to those I love. I've always squeezed pets a little too tight for their comfort, and I just can't stop kissing my sweet little baby. Unfortunately my TH is a less willing participant, (probably because he is stronger than me, unlike dogs and babies) and this isn't a language he speaks naturally. So of course we have to work on it together. When I'm feeling a lack of affection I gently nuzzle up to him and hope that's enough of a hint, but if not I have to give more obvious reminders. The majority of the time this is all he needs, simply because he doesn't always think of it. In that same vein, I have to remember it doesn't come easily to him and be patient as well as understanding.

Here are some ways you can speak this language to someone you love:

  1. Try to always find a small way to be touching them. A hand on a leg while watching TV, or on the small of a back while standing in a crowd, are often all that's needed. 
  2. Kiss kiss kiss! You don't always have to be making out, in fact it's the silly "creative" kisses I happen to love most, like when TH kisses my eyelids. Not to mention, I melt into a worthless puddle of emotion when I see TH kiss our infant son. 
  3. Keep sexual intimacy alive. Perhaps the most obvious form of this language, but still a vital one. As time goes on this can be tricky for married (or long term relationship) folks but it's important to make time in our busy schedules to connect this way.
  4. Hugging is highly underrated. I can't tell you how many times I turn to TH and say "I need a hug right now", to which he almost always obliges. If your partner seems a bit down, give them a big 'ole bear hug and it's guaranteed to put a grin on his or her face. 
  5. Massages can erase the worst of days. Maybe it's because I was recently pregnant, and foot/cankle massages were borderline orgasmic, but I really feel like they have healing power. Even if you aren't a professional masseuse, taking the time and energy to make your partner feel good in this way will speak huge volumes. It can be a quick shoulder/foot rub, or a full-blown Swedish back massage complete with scented candles and oils - either way it's magic.
Of course those are just some suggestions. How do you like to speak this language? Is this your "native tongue"?

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